«
»
February 15, 2011

I Don’t Know: Coming Alive in the Face of Uncertainty

Written and photographed by Ursula Jorch

I don’t know.

That can be tough to admit.

All my life, I’ve felt that knowing things is what has saved me from big trouble. To know how to avoid making someone angry, to know how to take care of myself, to know facts and information.

Right now, I really don’t know.

I recently made a huge life change. Not because of some catastrophic event, like divorce, death, or a bizarre communicable disease, but because I knew I needed to do it.

I sold or donated most of my belongings, a lifetime of accumulated stuff. Anything that I didn’t love or need – gone.

I sold my house.

I set up my business so that I can work anywhere there is internet access. These days, that pretty much leaves the field wide open.

So I have gone mobile. I am traveling and living wherever my inclination and intuition take me.

That choice has created some big, I don’t know’s.

I don’t know what’s next. What’s more, in the larger sense, I don’t know where this is all going.

And I am surrendering to that, in my own very imperfect way.

I am giving ‘I don’t know’ high-fives and saying it with delight. I am doing the ‘I don’t know’ happy dance. That is my story and I’m sticking to it!

The truth is, I am scared of living in the place of ‘I don’t know’. I don’t mind so much visiting there occasionally (and briefly), on my way to researching or asking someone or otherwise doing whatever it takes to get the hell out of ‘I don’t know’, and fast. But living there? That’s more of a challenge.

There is a story of a Zen master who teaches his student an important lesson. My version: he starts to pour tea into the student’s cup while the student talks on and on about how he’s looking for enlightenment and isn’t sure how to get it and what should he do and why are you still pouring tea when the cup is clearly overflowing?! This illustration allows the master to remind the student that he cannot learn what he needs to know when his cup is overflowing.

We are like the student. We can’t allow new things in our lives, even in the smallest ways, while our cup is overflowing. We need to take the bold step of emptying the cup, and entering the place of, ‘I don’t know’.

Starting with ‘I don’t know’, we can receive what we need in order to create something new.

So I have emptied my cup, and am living my way through, ‘I don’t know’.

The amazing thing about all this is, even with some fear and uncertainty, I have never in my life been this happy. I have released so much, and I am following an authentic path to an extent I have never allowed before.

And as a result, I have come alive in ways I could not have imagined.

So I invite you to consider this: what would it mean for you to visit the place of, ‘I don’t know’, and to start to follow your own path, authentic and true to you?

What would it mean for you to come alive?

Print This Post Print This Post

Tags: , ,
Filed under: Change, Personal Growth 

Comments

21 Comments on I Don’t Know: Coming Alive in the Face of Uncertainty

  1. Kathy Troidle JacksonNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 11:28 am

    2. Ursula – so exciting! So inspiring! So many adventures ahead for you! Can’t wait to hear more.

    [Reply]

  2. PatriciaNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 11:32 am

    3. Not knowing is certainly a challenge with which to grapple;however, from your post, it seems to be working with you, Ursula!
    Congrats on starting anew–the cup metaphor is great!
    For me, stepping out into writing has been a learning curve and a fresh cuppa!
    Patricia
    PM_Poet Writer

    [Reply]

    Ursula JorchNo Gravatar Reply:
    February 15th, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    That is awesome that you are taking up this challenge to step into writing, Patricia! Go for it! You are stepping into your own future!

    [Reply]

  3. EmilyNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 1:37 pm

    4. Ursula – this is beautiful! It’s been such a gift to watch you move through this process. I am so grateful to know you! Congrats on the blog – it’s great! Love!

    [Reply]

  4. LisaNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 4:02 pm

    5. this is so inspiring, Ursula! what a truly courageous adventure! I look forward to seeing your journey unfold in mysterious and magical ways….

    [Reply]

  5. AnnaNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 5:52 pm

    6. I think you’re BECOMING the Zen master. Love all that you are…

    [Reply]

  6. Elaine BaileyNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 6:07 pm

    7. Great post Ursula!

    I’m blessed to be able to observe your journey unfold and how you lean into your ‘don’t know’ and the awesome learning and growth that is manifesting because of this.

    I totally get ‘I don’t kn

    [Reply]

  7. Elaine BaileyNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 6:10 pm

    8. Oops!

    I was saying… I have experienced much of what you describe in my own left except the going totally mobile bit – though my belongings have been in storage for over 2 years.

    There’s something awesome about stepping into this… You get to be whatever you truly want to be.

    Hugs to you, my friend

    [Reply]

  8. ShirleyNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 7:50 pm

    9. Ursula,

    I love hearing about this kind of adventure. I also identified with it more tonight than I would have a year ago. I also moved, even before our house sold, without a job. I don’t plan to be a nomad, but I am cheering for you to learn all the lessons life has in store through this call. Blessings on the journey.

    [Reply]

  9. Ursula JorchNo Gravatar on Tue, 15th Feb 2011 10:17 pm

    10. Thanks for the love, everyone! Your affirming words and hearing your own stories are inspiring me!

    [Reply]

  10. tammy vitaleNo Gravatar on Wed, 16th Feb 2011 6:06 pm

    11. Yay You! The almost full moon finds me transitioning into more I don’t know….creative spirit abounding…organized anything out the window. Watching you to learn how to lean into this.

    [Reply]

  11. StaceyNo Gravatar on Thu, 17th Feb 2011 11:02 pm

    12. Wow! I sit in awe and watch from the sidelines as you post about your travels. I’ve bit dipping my big toe into “I don’t know” and you just did a belly flop in… yikes! It appears to be very rewarding though, so I might go into my ankles next ;-)

    [Reply]

    Ursula JorchNo Gravatar Reply:
    February 18th, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    It’s incredibly rewarding, Stacey. Go ahead, step in to your ankles! You can do it!

    [Reply]

  12. JoyNo Gravatar on Sat, 26th Feb 2011 11:52 am

    13. Congratulations on embarking on this I don’t know adventure of a lifetime, Ursula!

    YOUR lifetime, actually- evolving, moment by moment….day by day….in flow to see what enters for you.

    Courageous. Radical. Awesome.

    You go Ursula, and thank you for giving us a look through your posts.

    Blessings overflowing!

    [Reply]

  13. James WestinNo Gravatar on Thu, 3rd Mar 2011 1:09 pm

    14. AMEN TO THAT….and I did the same thing. Beginning 9/7/10….after 18 months of unemployment and two months shy of 65, I put a few family heirlooms in storage and kept what would fit in a ’98 Buick with 150k miles and became “A Homeless Drifter”…..gave myself over to the Universe and the kindness of strangers…..and many friends….new and old. I started in Rockford, IL and by the time I got to Wall, SD, I was a cowboy. I took the southern most and longest route I could find. I’m currently holed-up in the Piute Mountains of CA, but I’ll be back on the road come April. I just say “YES” to it all. Haven’t missed a meal….haven’t missed a “moment”….In this world of duality and this box of space and time….there will be good times and bad, but we still must say “YES” to it all.

    [Reply]

  14. lesley diamondNo Gravatar on Sat, 5th Mar 2011 5:49 pm

    15. i’m thinking that we are all living in the ‘i don’t know, but we have yet to realize it, own it, or make friends with it. the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we know.

    so, what you’ve done is make your outside look like your inside reality. you have rid yourself of the pseudo anchors of your past life, and you are now free-floating.

    enviable courage, ursula.

    [Reply]

  15. Ursula JorchNo Gravatar on Sun, 6th Mar 2011 12:15 am

    16. What a cool perspective, Lesley! And courage sometimes just means doing what you know you have to do – and we can all do that, every moment.

    [Reply]

  16. Yolanda GarfieldNo Gravatar on Sat, 12th Mar 2011 4:03 pm

    17. Gotta add my voice. I don’t know you but this is a huge adventure. Good for you and bon chance!

    [Reply]

    Ursula JorchNo Gravatar Reply:
    March 14th, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Thank you, Yolanda for the good wishes, and for adding your voice! That is so much a part of this process, this adventure!

    [Reply]

  17. Jesse ProctorNo Gravatar on Thu, 2nd Jun 2011 12:34 pm

    18. Ursula,
    I have really enjoyed browsing your blog. A window into presence. I look forward to reading more.

    [Reply]

    Ursula JorchNo Gravatar Reply:
    June 2nd, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Thanks Jesse! Good to connect with you!

    [Reply]

I would love to hear from you, as would other readers, so add your comments below!